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Note: This chapter was too long, so I divided in two A Love that will Never Grow Old (A)and A Love that will Never Grow Old (B)I hope to post the second part soon

Ennis and Jack were still at Lightning flat on what they considered their “Honeymoon” . Their Sunrise Wedding had been about a week ago, and for them, their new life was more than a paradise; Ennis was always fixing something around the house, but Jack was happy just to have his company. Jack admitted that it was a pretty old house and needed a lot of help if they were going to get back to business. But as happy as Jack was to have Ennis help him fix up his old place, most of the time they were distracted from what they should have been doing by constant wrestling fights that always ended withpassionate kisses and wild, sex.

The night before, Jack and Ennis had been trying to put a new wooden floor down in the living room, (which they accomplished after a lot of fighting and cursing) and once they finished they celebrated with a nice, hot shower. It was later that night when Jack started having doubts about their relationship. The whole thing was too perfect to be true. Finally he was with Ennis like he’d always wanted—he was trying to build a life with him! However, there was a little voice inside him telling him that this was not going to last very long. He woke up in the morning to make breakfast, (it was his turn) and he turned on the radio. There, plain as day, was that song he’d listened to years before after driving all the way to Wyoming only to have his heart broken and be sent back from where he came after only five minutes. Jack poured some coffee and then sat down in a chair and listened to the music. It was eerie how well it applied. For every verse of the song he could remember a phrase either he’d said or Ennis had said (including those that he told him after their reencounter).

Go to sleep, may your sweet dreams come true
Just lay back in my arms for one more night
I've this crazy old notion that calls me sometimes
Saying this one's the love of your life.

“Old Brokeback got us good, didn’t it?”

Cause I know a love that will never grow old
And I know a love that will never grow old.

“Ya’ know it could be like this, just like this always”

When you wake up the world may have changed
But trust in me, I'll never falter or fail
Just the smile in your eyes, it can light up the night,
And your laughter's like wind in my sails.

“For how long?”

“Long we can ride it; ain’t no reins on this one”

Cause I know a love that will never grow old
And I know a love that will never grow old.

“I wish I knew how to quit you!”

Lean on me, let our hearts beat in time,
Feel strength from the hands that have held you so long.
Who cares where we go on this rugged old road
In a world that may say that we're wrong.

“Jack, I swear...”

Cause I know a love that will never grow old
And I know a love that will never grow old.

“Tell you what…truth is, sometimes I miss you so bad I can hardly stand it...”

Listening to the song stirred some deep emotion, full of memories of all the pain, all the tears, all the disappointment over the years, but at the same time it brought a great amount of happiness; he had his life with Ennis now and all the rest was in the past. Indeed their lives were changing, but their love hadn’t changed at all, like the song said, it would never grow old. Jack listened to the music. Once upon a time, he’d thought this would never happen; the last time they’d seen each other at the lake in 1982, Jack had been just about ready to give up on Ennis, but later, alone and miserable about their situation, he’d realized that he’d never be able to quit Ennis. In all his years, John Charles Twist Jr., as he hated to be called, had never felt anything as strong as his feelings towards Ennis. Without that man he couldn’t breathe; Ennis was his everything—his soul mate. All his dreams were with him, all his thoughts were for him; for Jack, Ennis Del Mar was all he needed to exist.

The song ended and another started. Jack smiled. It was weird, but for some reason Jack could relate almost every song they played on the radio to his relationship with Ennis. He laughed at the thought that their love could be told in a country song (though knowing how people are that would never actually happen). He looked at his watch, saw that it was almost 8:00 am and still no sign of Ennis. Jack figured he was still sleeping and smiled to himself. It seemed that he’d been draining the man all the way. Gone were the days of high altitude fucks once or twice a year; now they had farm fucks every day at anytime, and even though Ennis wasn’t complaining, Jack was feeling guilty because he felt like he was wearing the poor man out. He went back into their room and was surprised to find that Ennis wasn’t in bed as he’d thought.

“That son of a bitch! Woke up and left without me noticin’!” He took a look around the room and was startled when he felt arms wrap around him from behind.

“Mornin’ cowboy…Was expectin’ you to come in here sooner!” Ennis chuckled and kissed Jack’s neck.

“So you were waitin’ for me to come up here and find an empty bed? You tryin’ to tease me?” Jack said with a grin on his face.

“Tease? Never. But I was tryin’ to fool ya. Wanted to see the look on yer face when you didn’t find me and thought I wasn’t in the house.”

“Well I think yer missin’ out on somethin’ special, cuz ya can’t see my face from back there.”

Ennis laughed and turned Jack around. “There we go.”

“My expression worth the trouble?”

“Hmm…guess so. It’s pretty funny lookin’.”

“Hey now!” Jack laughed. He ran his hands up Ennis’ arms and over his back. “You want some breakfast?”

Ennis grinned wickedly. “Think I already got my breakfast, now that yer here…” Jack’s eyes widened in surprise at Ennis’ behavior, but wasn’t given much time to think about it because Ennis suddenly lifted Jack up and managed to throw him onto the bed.

Jack hit the mattress and lifted his head to look at Ennis. “Damn, boy. You been workin’ out? I’m not the lightest thing on God’s green earth.”

Ennis smiled and landed on the bed next to Jack, started undressing him. “Guess it’s all the work I put inta gettin’ you off.”


Ennis pulled Jack’s shirt off. “Yep. It’s a tough job, but someone’s gotta do it.” They both laughed as they finished undressing each other and shared their love one more time.

By the time they got downstairs to the kitchen it was almost 11:00 am. They realized instead of breakfast, they’d be better off having lunch, so Jack grabbed some steaks from the fridge and got the rest of the ingredients he needed from the cabinets and pantry. Jack decided to make roasted steak, which was a recipe that he’d learned from Lureen. They worked together and their meal was done in no time. They talked and laughed over lunch, and realized that the food tasted even better because they’d made it together. After they finished their lunch they went outside to start painting the barn—something they’d both been dreading but had planned to do that day. Crimson Red was the color Jack selected and both of them agreed that that was a good color for a barn to be.

“En… I really like how this is lookin’. Damn, makes me feel like I’m ten years old again!” Jack wiped sweat from his forehead. “God, I remember back in the day I used to come out here to hide from my Daddy when he wanted to beat me” Jack chuckled then continued.

“And this is where me and …” Jack trailed off suddenly then continued painting. Ennis stopped what he was doing to look at the man.

“Where you and who did what?”

Jack kept his eyes on his painting. “Nothin’.”

“Come on Jack, I wanna know!” Ennis waited for a response, but Jack just shook his head.

“Don’tcha trust me?” Ennis found it a little amusing that Jack was embarrassed to say whatever he was trying to hide. He smirked. “I swear I won’t get mad no matter what you say!” Ennis lied.

“You sure?” Jack asked and Ennis nodded. Jack set his paint roller down. “This is where I lost my virginity! Happy now?” Jack’s words came out in a rush and Ennis barely caught what he said.

“With…?” Ennis still wasn’t satisfied.

“Ennis!” Jack said in an angry tone.

“I wanna know.”

“Ok! Ya really wanna know?” Jack sighed. “I lost my virginity with Billy Mason; he used to help my daddy on the ranch. He was 5 years older than me and I was, what, 16 when it happened? I was drunk; it was my birthday and I’d been drinking a few beers out here so my Mamma and Daddy wouldn’t find me. Billy, he came and asked fer one, so I handed him a bottle and, one thing led to another, we started wrestling and, well, you know how the rest went…” Jack looked to the floor, closing his eyes in embarrassment.

“No I don’t know how the rest went…but I’d like to know.” Ennis’ voice was low. Jack didn’t know if he was angry or if he was curious, so he sighed and kept talking.

“We started wrestlin’. I still can’t remember how, but we ended up…you know touching. The next thing I know, we were naked. Then he placed my head down by his dick and asked me to do it. At first I refused—it seemed too weird. Finally, I did it. Then he was kissin’ me and he got onto all fours and asked me to, you know, take him. I obliged him, then he did the same to me. When we were finished, he left me in there, in the barn, drunk and naked. The next mornin’ my daddy found me in the barn, figured I’d gotten drunk and stripped down, which was partially true. He whipped me fer it, but he never knew the truth. Billy Mason quit workin’ on the ranch a couple days later and up n’ moved out to Canada. I never saw him again, but he changed my life.” Jack smiled, caught up in some old memory. Ennis was silent.

“Ennis?” Jack suddenly realized that Ennis was unusually silent and was getting a little worried.

“Well that certainly was interestin’.” Ennis shook his head. “I mean, I thought I was the first man you’d ever been with!” Ennis crossed his arms. Jack looked to the floor.

“Were there any more?” Ennis asked. Jack sensed a little anger in his tone. He raised three fingers, but of course he was not counting those men he did after Ennis, or those men he paid off when he was in Mexico.

“Three more? Why didn’t you tell me before?” Ennis looked at Jack, eyes fierce with anger.

“I thought if I told ya I was with four other men before you, you’d never talk to me again! Besides with that ‘you know I ain’t queer’, I couldn’t go and say, ‘Oh yes Ennis, I’m queer. I’ve had four other men!’” Jack’s voice was equally angry now; he was waving his arms around and yelling.

“You’re right, but that ain’t even the point! I was never with anybody till I was with you!”

“I know baby, but why does this really matter? I’m with you now! You’re the one I love—the only one I’ve ever loved! I don’t see why you’re actin’ like this! Besides, none a’ them were even that good! You’re the only that rockets me outta this world, whenever I’m with you I shoot right to the stars!” Ennis turned his back.

“Ennis? Come on you’re bein’ a child! You’re too old fer this!”

Ennis turned, raised his eyebrow, and said, “Now I’m old, huh! This is what I‘ve been missin’? Not only was I not the first, but now I’m old? You’re no help!” Ennis turned to walk outside the barn. After all it was Jack’s idea to paint inside the barn since he thought it was a good idea.

Jack had to think quick to try and stop Ennis, then suddenly ran and placed himself between Ennis and the door.

Ennis stopped. “Get out a’ the way; I need to go inside so I can eat somethin’.” He avoided Jack with his eyes.

Jack didn’t move, though. Ennis tried to pass by him anyway, but Jack grabbed him before he could get away and kissed him hard on the mouth. Ennis, against his wishes, felt his anger start to dissolve. He relaxed his body, opened his mouth, and felt Jack’s tongue caress his. Suddenly Jack broke the kiss and dropped to his knees, unzipped Ennis’ pants and took out his hardening cock. He teased Ennis for a minute, bringing it just up to his mouth, and then pulling back, then all at once slipping it into his mouth. Jack’s teeth touched the head of Ennis’ penis and he let out a loud moan, all his anger now gone. If Jack had been with other men before him, it only trained him to be a better lover.

Ennis played with Jack’s hair and had to hold back a yell when Jack took Ennis all the way into his mouth, going deep to the back of his throat. Ennis was totally lost and he couldn’t contain himself any longer. With a moan, Ennis released into Jack’s mouth. Jack pulled back, wiped his mouth, then pulled Ennis’ pants all the way down. He stood and kissed Ennis firmly on the mouth, and without saying a word, he turned Ennis over and kissed the back of his neck, gently coaxing him to bend over. Ennis was rearing to go for another round. He heard Jack unzip his pants, and then he felt him softly entering him. There was pain, but there was more pleasure—the feeling of Jack inside him, loving him, taking him, was all that he would ever need. Ennis grabbed the wooden rail in front of him and squeezed it hard. He moaned and bucked his hips till he felt his muscles tense and released again, Jack following moments after. Jack kissed a trail down Ennis’ back, keeping their bodies locked.

“Do ya think I ever did this with them?” Jack murmured between kisses. “This is only for you, because I love you.”

Jack started to pull out. “Wait, Jack. Stop. Just don’t move yet.”

“You sure?” Jack chuckled.

They were still for a few minutes while Jack smelled Ennis’ hair and kissed his collar bone, kissed Ennis’ lips and placed his hand on Ennis hips.

“You ready for a second round” Jack said breaking the silence of the caresses.

“That’s what I want, rodeo! That’s what I want.” Jack kissed his back again and then started loving him again.

When they finished, they got dressed and finished painting the barn. They didn’t talk about Jack’s previous relationships again, and if they ever did get back to the subject, Jack now knew how to ease Ennis’ mind.

When they went back to the house Ennis sat in the living room and read a cookbook Jack had bought. One recipe caught his eye: Golden chicken strips in a dijon sauce, but they didn’t had the proper ingredients to make it. Ennis went to the bedroom and found Jack taking a nap. He left a note on the kitchen table saying: ‘I went to buy some groceries, took your truck, be back in a little bit’

As Ennis walked outside the ranch to the truck, he looked down at his hand. When he saw the ring that Jack put on his finger he had to smile. Looking down at the thin band of metal, he remembered one time they’d taken a trip to the Sierra Madres, one of the most common places for their”Fishing Trips”.

It was April 1979, the year he first heard All That You Dream, a song by Linda Ronstadt, on the truck’s radio. They were supposed to meet at their usual place on the side of the road about a mile out of the Madres, and this time he was late because he’d been looking for a present to give Alma Jr. for her birthday. He’d been looking for weeks but nothing in his town was cheap or good enough for his daughter. He wanted to buy her something she’d remember all her life; he wanted his gift to be perfect. He’d gone to several different stores and libraries looking and now he was late, and wishing he’d taken care of gift shopping sooner (it was so hard to get time to do little things while working on the ranch). The gift wasn’t really what was occupying his mind though. It had been nearly six months since he’d last seen Jack. The last time they’d seen each other they’d argued fiercely—Jack’s crazy ideas about living together, something Ennis was neither willing to accept nor do—they’d ended on opposite sides of the road; nothing ended, nothing started, nothing resolved . Finally Ennis got Jack’s postcard in the mail asking to meet in April for two weeks. As always Ennis replied with his usual “You Bet” knowing that he really wanted to apologize, but also knowing he’d never say so.
Ennis was desperate after the two hours of driving; he couldn’t get his truck to drive fast enough. The six months of distance were definitely taking effect, he’d been missing Jack’s skin, his tempting lips, his baby blue eyes, his hands—He loved how their hands looked intertwined while having sex, loved his ass (could stare at it for hours, though would never let Jack catch him doing so), loved the feel of his chest underneath his head when they’d lay in each other’s arms after sex. Ennis felt his dick start to harden. He needed Jack, he wanted him worse than anything, he desired him.
“Stop it, Del Mar! You wanna have an accident?” Ennis shook his head, trying harder than anything to push thoughts of sex with Jack away for the time being. He smiled as he approached a road sign that said he was close to the Sierra Madres, close to Jack.
“Jesus! Finally! Thought I’d never get here!” He turned his truck onto the road he needed. As he neared the meeting place, an image of Jack entered his mind. Jack was greeting him with a big smile, walking towards him with open arms. Then, he was kissing Jack; their mouths were one and Jack was caressing him, undressing him, loving him.
“Stop it I said!” Ennis put his foot on the brake. “What’s goin’ on with me? If I keep lettin’ my imagination get away with me I’ll crash into somethin’! Come on; let’s try to focus. You’re only ‘bout 40 minutes from him! You can wait till then, can’t you?” Ennis buried his face in his hands. He waited five minutes before turning the car on again.
When he arrived he found Jack’s Ford on the side of the road. There were no signs of Jack. Ennis got out of his truck and looked around, scratching his head. As much he searched he couldn’t find Jack.
“Where the hell are ya Jack? Where’d you go, huh?”
Finally, after 30 minutes of searching for Jack, he heard a rustling noise coming from the woods. Ennis got closer to get a better look, and then a man came stalking out of the brush. It was Jack and he was wringing his hands, trying to get a large amount of blood off them. Ennis felt his pulse quicken and ran over to look at him. Ennis took Jack’s hand, and with his scarf he gently cleaned the blood off.
“Ennis?” were the only words that came from Jack’s lips. He raised his hand and caressed Ennis’ face.
“I know. Was lookin’ for a gift for Junior…took longer than I thought.” He wiped the last smudge of blood off Jack’s hands. “There, all done! You wont bleed no more little Darlin’” Ennis smiled at Jack.

“Now what happened, why are ya bleedin’?” Ennis asked.

“Hmm…well I’d been waitin’ for you a while, and I started drinkin’ whiskey, and since you weren’t comin’ I went into the forest to piss. I was pretty upset and punched the tree forgettin’ I still had the bottle in my hand.” Jack laughed “Didn’t hurt that much! Just a shame to lose so much good whiskey,” he added.

Ennis looked at him, a little embarrassed for his lateness, but with a small grin. In that look, that moment when their eyes were locked, many truths passed between them—their mouths might never speak the truth, but their eyes couldn’t lie, couldn’t hide the emotion. Time seemed to stop while they were there together, then Ennis brought his mouth slowly to Jack’s lips until they met, Jack’s mouth opening to his tongue, responding with the sweetest kiss.

“Glad you came.” Jack smiled. ‘Not that smile!’ Ennis thought. Every time Jack smiled like that, he wasn’t able to control himself.

“Shall we go then?” Jack asked—faces still close enough to kiss. They parted, hesitantly, went to their trucks, and started what would be their usual week of romance.

As always, the week went past far too fast and Ennis didn’t want it to end, but knew he couldn’t hide out in the mountains forever, knew he had to pack his stuff, hit the road, and go back to work, go back to his personal hell.

“I figure I’ll be goin’ to visit my folks…like I usually do…” Jack sighed. ‘And tell ‘em how one day I’m gonna bring you up there…which never seems to happen…’

“Jack… I need yer help. You think you can help me out?”
Ennis kept his eyes on the ground, like he was ashamed of asking for a favor.

“Course I can help ya Ennis! Whatcha need?” Jack smiled wide, full of false hope. ‘He’s goin’ to ask me to ranch up with him…he’s goin’ to ask me!’ Jack pushed the idea from his mind—he knew Ennis wasn’t ready to settle down with him, at least not now.

“Know how I told you ‘bout Junior’s 15th birthday? Well, I’m tryin’ to find her a gift...so I thought…I thought…” He paused “I though maybe you could help me pick out a good gift for her.” He raised his eyes to find Jack smiling like a crazy kid.

“You want me to help ya? To pick out a gift for yer daughter?” Jack cleared his throat; he felt emotion well up. ‘Not what I thought but at least it’s a start.’ Ennis nodded and Jack gave him a bear hug. He pulled back.

“What were you thinkin’?” Jack asked and by the expression on Ennis’ face he knew the answer. “You don’t have any idea, do ya?” Jack raised his eyebrows and Ennis nodded sadly.

“Was thinkin’ ‘bout buyin’ a ring…but I don’t know. Saved two hundred dollars for it.” Ennis answered.

“Well I remember seeing’ a jewelry store ‘bout two hours from here. If ya want, we can go there.” Jack replied and Ennis smiled. Ennis walked to his blue Chevrolet and Jack went to his own Ford. They drove into a small town and found an old Jewelry stored called, Silver & Stein Jewelry. They both parked their trucks and entered the store. It was a musty old place, probably not frequented much in this small town, with threadbare rug carpets and overly bright halogen lamps that seemed to accentuate its age. The two started looking at the rings, though all the glass display cases were somewhat cloudy with age. To Ennis, all the rings looked pretty much the same; he couldn’t understand why they all had different prices.

“There!” Ennis spotted a 14 k white gold ring with an emerald flower on it. Jack walked over to examine the ring.

“Sure looks good! You think Junior would like it?”

Ennis nodded. “I’m sure of it.” Ennis looked up at the old man sitting near the front at the cash register. “Sir, can you tell me how much this costs?” The man, probably in his 70s walked towards them. He was a fairly short man, and was wearing a black hat, not a cowboy hat, and had a black suit and a long beard. Ennis figured the man was Jewish.

“Hallo! N’ velcome, my name is Yitzhak Stein… You vant to buy some’ting?” The old man had a funny accent, Ennis couldn’t quite place it, had never heard it before.

“Uh, yeah, how much does this here ring cost?” Ennis asked.

“Ah!” The man pointed to the ceiling with his finger as though he’d just had a brilliant idea. “Zis ring is vun of our masterpieces! Made of vite gold. It cost tree hundred and fifty dollar!” Ennis gulped. Jack, feeling Ennis’ disappointment, lowered his head and opened his wallet.

‘Hello! I got $1,000.00 in here! Why’d I take this out? Oh right! Was gonna buy a new horse for my daddy!’ Jack looked back up; the old man was telling some sort of story. ‘Sure I could find a horse fer under a thousand…sure spendin’ a little now wouldn’t hurt…’

“Thank ya, kindly sir. Let’s go, Jack.” Ennis turned and left the store.

Jack hesitated a moment then turned back to the old man. “I’ll be right back.” The old gentleman just raised his eyebrow.

“These people are verrückt!” he said.

“Ennis what happened? You could’ve gotten him to come down on the price!” Jack walked out of the jewelry store towards Ennis standing by his truck.

“No Jack! I don’t want to have to bring the price down! I wanted to buy somethin’ with no discount, clean, for the first time in my sorry fuckin’ life!” Ennis crossed his arms. Jack was silent momentarily, then reached out and put his arm on Ennis’.

“If ya want I can give you some cash.” Jack kept his voice soft, soothing, like he was calming a spooked horse.

“Damnit, did you miss what I just said? I wanna do this on my own!” Ennis said, voice angry.

“Then at least let me go back in there and talk to him, okay?” Jack walked back into the jewelry store, not even waiting for a response. Ennis waited for a few minutes, saw both of them looking at him and talking. Then the man and Jack disappeared into a room in the back. Ennis waited another five or ten minutes, and finally Jack came out the door, smiling.

“He agreed to sell ya the ring for $200 even! I talked him down” Ennis looked at Jack a little upset, after all he didn’t wanted to buy with a discount, but he realized that Jack tried to help him and he couldn’t blame him for trying. He smiled and gave Jack a hug.

“Thanks Jack. I don’t know what to say…” They entered the store and Ennis paid the two hundred dollars. The old man was laughing, and when he came out he looked at the men ring’s section and saw an 18k gold ring that looked just like the one his parents had when they were still alive, but that couldn’t be true their rings were buried with them.

“Look Jack that ring is just like the one my dad used to have!” Ennis said and he smiled at Jack and like a kid with his new toy went to his car, while Jack was looking at the ring and looked at the man who nodded as he looked at him.

“Jack fuckin’ Twist. Thanks to you I’m becomin’ a sentimental man!” Ennis sighed.

Ennis went to the car and started his short trip to “Anne and Carl’s General Store” which was located about 3 miles from their ranch. Ennis turned on the radio. Ennis loved Jack’s truck; it was faster and newer than his old Chevrolet, which he left in Texas. Ennis enjoyed the breeze that was caressing his face, and thought about those old times when he and Jack were up on Brokeback Mountain.

As he neared the store he passed a field and running through the grass was a beautiful horse, brown with a black mane. Ennis thought it was a mustang, though it wasn’t very usual to have wild horses around the area. Ennis smiled. He parked the truck in the parking lot and then walked to the store. He picked up a shopping basket and went looking for the items on his list.

“Who’d believe Ennis Del Mar would be grocery shoppin’, lookin’ fer fancy food to cook,” he said laughing. It was true he hadn’t done this often; his grocery shopping involved buying cans of chili and bringing home Burger King. And now here he was planning a nice dinner for him and Jack—he liked the idea; it was something he used to do when they were on Brokeback.

As he walked up and down the corridors he noticed that the cashier lady was smiling at him, the man at the meat counter frowned at him and turned away, the woman at the deli made a noise of disgust as he passed while the man next to her giggled under his breath.

‘What in the name of God is goin’ on here?’ he thought. ‘Why are they lookin’ at me like that? I don’t think I smell, took a bath. Is there a hole in my pants or somethin’, my fly down?’

He mentally checked off the items on his list till he was completely finished; all the food he needed and also some household goods that they’d been running low on. As he stood at check out, paying for his things the woman at the register sighed.

“You’re that fella livin’ on the Twist ranch with Jack Twist right?” The woman giggled and Ennis raised his eyebrows. He looked at the girl’s badge; saw her name was ‘Rose’.

“Yes, Rose. I’m the fella livin’ in that ranch right now.” Ennis’ tone was cold as he counted out the cash to pay.

“You know, I never thought Jack was the kind a’ man to fake his own death! I mean, imagine what he did to be with you! He actually faked his death so his folks wouldn’t know he was leaving his wife and kids for a man!”

The girl’s comment thoroughly pissed Ennis off. It was obvious she didn’t know shit about what she was saying, probably got the word from the latest town gossip. Jack faked his own death, abandoned his wife and kid, and went to live a disgraceful life with a man—it was pure bullshit to his ears.

“’Scuse me, Rose? That’s yer name right?” Ennis said and the girl nodded “I don’t think you should be talkin’ ‘bout things you don’t understand.” He paused “I’m goin’ to try and be as polite as possible considerin’ how angry I am, and tell you to mind yer own business.” He wasn’t willing to explain anything else to that girl.

As he came out of the store he realized everyone was still staring at him. He rolled his eyes and walked back to the Ford, placed his supplies in the bed of the truck. As he got behind the wheel, he muttered to himself, “Jack fuckin’ Twist. Imagine how it would have been if we’d escaped like you wanted to that time.” He chuckled, thinking as he drove back to the ranch. They’d been upgrading everything on Jack’s house because they wanted to be more comfortable, however did they really want to stay in Wyoming? With the type of close-minded people around, Ennis thought it might not have been the best idea. Besides, his daughter was moving to Colorado and it would probably be easier if they moved out as well. But he didn’t actually have that much money saved, only $5,678.65 in a local Childress bank (which was actually the highest savings account he’d had in a while). He got the money after selling his trailer, truck, and one of his old horses, but it actually wasn’t that much. Ennis needed another option, but it didn’t even cross his mind how much money Jack had; nearly $ 250,000.00 saved in the bank and then another $2,000,000.00 from his divorce since the Newsome business was one of the most successful Farm Equipment companies in Texas.

Jack woke staring up at the ceiling, big smile on his face. Finally his life was getting on the right path, and if he’d been having any doubts they were certainly gone. He got up and stripped the bed of its sheets so he could wash them—they were thick with the smell of sweat and semen. He stuffed the sheets in the washing machine and went to the kitchen. He found Ennis’s note.

Jack smiled. “Who’d believe this? Cookin’ fer me again! Feels like when we were herdin’ sheep!” He set the note down when the phone rang.

“Hello, Twist Ranch. This is Jack speakin’, how may I help ya?” Jack wished to say ‘Del Mar and Twist Ranch’ but something told him not to do it.

“Dad? That you? It’s me, Bobby!” His son had to yell since there was a bit of a bad connection.

“Bobby? How are ya son? How’s everythin’ up there!” He asked, happy to hear from this son since he hadn’t talked to him for nearly three weeks. He had no idea what happened to Lureen.

“Not too good, Dad! Listen, we need to talk! I don’t know if you want to know, but I’m gonna tell you anyway! It’s Mom…” Bobby paused trying to find the courage to say it.

“Yer Mom? What happened to Lureen?” Jack had felt worried when he answered the phone, thought something might of happened to Bobby, but he never imagined it would be about Lureen.

“Dad, I don’t know how to explain this…” Bobby took in a deep breath. “It’s my fault! We fought and I pushed her and there was the desk...” Jack had a hard time understanding what Bobby was saying, the connection was still bad and it sounded like he might have been crying.

“Bobby, calm down, please! I can’t understand a word you’re sayin’!” Jack was getting nervous.

“I can’t calm down! My mama, daddy! My mama! And it was my fault! I pushed her!” Bobby yelled into the phone. Jack heard a loud thudding noise and then realized Bobby had dropped the phone.

“Bobby? Bobby! You there? Answer me! Son!” He shouted into the receiver but there was no response. Jack was more nervous than ever, he needed to know what was happening with his family. Jack stayed on the line, and after a couple minutes he heard a rustle as the phone was picked up again and then there was faint breathing. He waited for Bobby to continue.

“Dad, I don’t know how’ta begin… After you and Ennis left, she came home and I confronted her. I asked her why she did all this, and she tried to explain it to me but I didn’t let her! She tried to hug me and I pushed her away and the second time I used more force…and…she hit the desk. You know, the white bureau you bought in Oklahoma? She hit her head…” Jack could barely breath. Lureen had had an accident, and somehow he felt like it was entirely his fault.

“Bobby, calm down, son. Tell me the rest now, slowly.” Jack knew Bobby was nervous and feeling guilty, but he needed to know what had happened.

“Dad I feel bad…mama…she lost her memory….” Bobby told his father all the things that happened after he’d left Laverne’s house that day (leaving out what had happened between him and Laverne). Bobby would pause momentarily while he was re-telling, hearing many colorful swear words from his dad.

“So that’s what happened.” Bobby let out a breath. “Mama’s still at the hospital. They told me she’s recoverin’, but I still have my doubts.”

Jack was silent for a moment. “Son, I don’t know what to say…I feel bad ‘bout what happened to yer mother…” Jack was telling the truth, he did feel bad for what happened to Lureen. Deep down, he still loved her, not as deeply or as truly as he loved Ennis, but love nonetheless. And now hearing she’d had an accident and lost her memory…well, it could be considered some sort of divine justice, but he’d never wished her anything bad…at least not that bad.

“Listen Bobby, you want me to come back to Texas? I can come for support, after all, yer mama and I are still married…” Jack sighed when he realized the truth: he was still married to Lureen, even though he had recently “married” Ennis.

‘So now I’m practicin’ bigamy with two wives…well not two wives, one wife and one husband.’ He tried to find something funny about the whole situation but his thought didn’t make him laugh at all. He looked through the window at his new barn, his new fence, and all the things him and Ennis had being doing on the ranch since they’d arrived.

Bobby heard the sad tone of voice his father had and he knew he was upset. Bobby was a little let down by his father’s reaction, not that he’d wanted him to be happy about it, but Bobby had secretly been hoping that Jack would show some sort of smugness about it all, so that then he could feel okay putting some of the blame on him, taking away some of his own guilt. But hearing his father’s voice and knowing he was really sorry about Lureen only reaffirmed that his father was one of a kind. Lureen had ruined Jack’s life and forced him to live a fake marriage because she couldn’t let him go. She’d almost gotten him killed and yet he was still worried about her. Bobby didn’t understand, but Jack was actually happy all of this happened, if it hadn’t Ennis and him would still be going on fishing trips and suffering through their lives. So in a certain way Lureen did them a favor, she saved them from their lonely lives.

“Dad, yourr place is there with Ennis. You don’t need to come here. Stay there please, I don’t want to be a nuisance!” Bobby was feeling great pain over the whole situation, he really needed his father to be with him, but he knew that Jack’s place was with Ennis Del Mar.

“Besides, Mama says she doesn’t wanna see you,” he lied. “I guess she actually remembers that you two wanted a divorce, so we had her lawyer get the paperwork all arranged and give you your part of the business.” Bobby added, he knew that Lureen wanted to see his dad, but he wasn’t willing to have her suffer, or to have his dad suffer for that matter.

“You sure you don’t need me there?” Jack asked. He knew Bobby was lying, probably trying to protect his mother. He looked out the window again wondering where Ennis was and why he hadn’t come back yet.

“I’m sure, Dad! Stay there, we can all manage fine without ya.” Bobby frowned, pulled the phone away from his mouth so Jack wouldn’t hear the way his breathing had become heavy. He held back the tears that were trying to fall, held back what he really wanted to say. ‘Dad please come, I need ya here to tell me that everythin’ will be ok.’ Bobby took in a deep breath. He needed to show his father that from now on he was going to manage his own life and that he didn’t need him there to save his ass all the time.

“Bobby...I’m worried about yer mom, now. I think it would be best if I did come down, make sure she’s okay.” It was weird, but Jack was feeling guilty, as if he was the one that had pushed Lureen. He’d married her knowing that he didn’t loved her, took her to his bed and made her his wife wishing the whole time that it was Ennis. He lied to her about all those fishing trips, lied to her about his business trips and the times he’d been down to Mexico. Now all those things, all his guilt, was killing him.

‘How could I say she was unfair to me when I was never honest with her to begin with? I’ve been such an asshole! Married her knowin’ I loved Ennis…’ Jack looked out at the cloudless blue sky and felt he knew what to do. He’d wait for Ennis and talk to him, then go back to Childress for a few days.

“You still there, Dad? Dad!” Jack hadn’t said a word for nearly three minutes.

“Oh! Yeah...Sorry! Guess I was just lost in my own thoughts…” Jack paused again momentarily. “Well, I guess I’ll let you go now. You probably need to be visitin’ with yer Mama, right?” Jack kept looking outside. ‘Where in the name of God are ya, Ennis?’

“Right, I should go. Talk to ya soon, Dad” Bobby hung up the phone.

When Jack heard the ‘click’ on the end of the line, he placed the phone back on the wall and walked outside. He took a deep breath and nodded his head. He needed the fresh air to ease his mind, needed to think on something else. He was used to doing things without thinking of the consequences. Jack knew he had the life he’d always wanted now, but the price was extremely high. He was the cause for everything that had happened, the only one that could be blamed. He the one that took Ennis’ hand and placed it on his dick, he was the one that initiated the sex, he was the one that contacted Ennis after four years, he’d always planned their meetings. It had always been him, Jack Twist. He was to blame, or at least that was what he thought.

“It’s my fault…” Jack sat down hard on the log next to the barn, attempted to light his cigarette, but his hands were shaking too badly.

“Damn smoke! You won’t fix anythin’!” He threw the cigarette into the grass. He took in a deep breath, trying to deal with his frustration, his guilt, but it was impossible. So he’d made mistakes, so he’d hurt people, he still deserved a good life, right? All he’d ever wanted was to love and be loved by Ennis. Jack felt a tight pain in his chest, he breathed in deeper.

“Where the hell is Ennis?”

The closest store was about 30 minutes away and Ennis had been gone for at least a couple of hours, there was no excuse for him to be so late. Jack couldn’t do anything about it though, Ennis had taken his truck and that was that. He decided to wait outside, so he could see the truck drive up when he came back.

A/N if any of you didn’t knew the song lyrics I used on the beginning of the chapter is A Love that will never grow old by Emmylou Harris .
Ethan thanks for the help with the sex scene I had never done it if it wasn’t without your help!
Now I want to thank Jessymamma!!! without her help I would never be able to work on this! She’s such a great help!!!!


( 1 comment — Leave a comment )
Sep. 19th, 2006 03:04 am (UTC)
Ok you have me all worried that the towns people are going to go after Ennis and take care of those queer boys on the Twist ranch. I did like the chapter and thought it was very well done and you captured alot. I'm glad that Jack started to tell Ennis about his past and well even though at first Ennis did not like hearing that Jack was not a virgin when they met I'm glad he changed his mind and let Jack apologize in such a wonderful way. Now, I'm worried about Bobby being so guilt ridden over his Mama but it is very understandable and I'm glad Jack still has forgiveness in his heart for his wife even though she did the most horrible thing possible he is correct in one way maybe they would still be doing fishing trips instead of actually trying to start alife together. thank you for update! Joe
( 1 comment — Leave a comment )



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